Still Fighting…

world-mental-health-day-10th-octoberAs the time rolls by, I often wonder what it would be like to feel mentally strong, the short answer is I’ve no idea.

My therapist says it took strength for me to seek help, I didn’t see it as being strong, for me it was desperation, emotionally and mentally I’d hit rock bottom, I had backed myself into such a tight corner, “getting help” was the last hope.

When I started blogging again 2 years ago I thought I was in remission, as I began to really open up about what I felt my homelessness situation, reading so many blogs seeing despair and hope, but mainly seeing this community pulls together, we come from every corner of the globe even though many have a great network of support from family and friends many don’t and blogging for me anyway became a surrogate family.

For the last 4 years I completely lost control of my life, one minute it was  there,  next I was reduced to the clothes I stood in and bag, not to mention I became invisible, to lose myself into the depths of depression and not even having the basic human need of a home, it has completely changed me in ways I could never have imagined, so does that mean I’m strong because I survived, or because I can accept that it has happened.

I continue with CBT, I have to admit some weeks I really struggle with the whole concept, other times I see glimmers of hope, it’s hard work, though I feel in the long run it will be beneficial, it has to be, I’ve long since admitted to myself that I cannot continue on this path without change as I’ve said many times teeny tiny baby steps.

Courage s the word I prefer to use to go forward and accept there are bumps in the road, most importantly it’s Ok to ask for help, you are not alone.

Thank you to those who read my ramblings, also huge thank to the Doctors/therapists out there who make a difference.

About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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6 Responses to Still Fighting…

  1. JC says:

    Thank you also for being there. It is aways a pleasure to read your ramblings… enjoy this day… jc

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gemma says:

    You are one of the strongest people I follow here on wordpress. You have a great insight into your mental health issues and offer such supporting words to others. Take care x

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’m always strong for others, though I’m learning to be strong for me, which is a new concept, not quite getting my head around it all, but fingers crossed.
      I hope your journey is continuing:) x


  3. breakdownchick says:

    Never give up my friend. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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