Travelling On A Road Called Hope

staying-afloat-rachel-hamesI often wonder how long I will be on this road, when I look back the road has turned to dust like I didn’t even exist, as dreams crumbled beneath weary feet.

The road travelled has had so many twists and turns each leading to a dead end which brings disappointment which hurts a little more, takes away another piece of the whole or to be on point me.

I think I’m now coming to the journey’s end, and even at this point I won’t allow myself to enjoy, no wrong word, accept the feeling that this time is the time, if you get my meaning, it just seems inconceivable that for the last three years of living in limbo might actually come to an end.

I’ve told my story over and over, my mind has been filled with nothing else, to the point where it has almost driven me to madness the brink ever-present the truth being I have no idea how I just didn’t fall through the tracks, I don’t even think it can be attributed to that internal strength you sometimes hear about, I wish I could say there has been some other force at work which wouldn’t be true, basically I was just invisible.

Now it appears I’m in the light although it still feels there is a cloak swirling about me ready to immerse me again,and simply put I have no fight left, this time going with the flow, which is a bit of a contradiction, but it’s working,each day I feel there really is something to get up for, that seems the place to start to build new hope.

Advertisements

About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
This entry was posted in Blogs, Depression, Health, Homelessness, Mental Health and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Travelling On A Road Called Hope

  1. Gale Wright says:

    Having been in this weird place twice before in my life, I think you have described it so well. On some level it just seems magical. And yet it has come at the end of tragedy or at least near-tragedy. You are a new person now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. cherished79 says:

    Sometimes it difficult to step forward, but you’ve come a long way. Keep strong.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m all about hope. I wouldn’t survive without it. Just one more day – the hope in tomorrow. I relate to being invisible. Most of my life, but in the past few years more so than ever. Unwanted….who really wants an invisible person? But I’m workin’ it, also trying to get my life back on track

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.