It’s been a week since my assessment, and nearly 2 weeks since I started taking Sertraline(Zoloft) and 4 weeks since I learned of my severe iron deficiency, 2 weeks that I have been sleeping in the shop where I work.
All are having their effect in different ways, which I’m finding hard to manage all at once, that’s the problem I find with me it’s all or nothing.
First dealing with the iron deficiency, the pills are making me nauseous all the time, my GP said this was to be expected as I literally have no iron in my blood and it will take time to build up the stores required to enable me to have more energy and not feel as though I’m sleep walking.
My latest blood test shows that there has been some movement, but not quite enough, as I can’t manage the 3 tablets per day, the GP said that if it doesn’t show more improvement in a month I might have to have a blood transfusion, not something I relish.
The Sertraline is also making me feel nauseous so a double whammy there,after reading all the side effects that can happen I almost didn’t take them, stomach cramps, sleeplessness, my mood the last few days has started to plummet, my appetite is decreasing, basically I just feel unwell all the time.
I knew I wasn’t as well as I should be and when homeless it’s quite hard to keep on top of your health, as you tend not to sleep very well, my eating habits are pretty poor and I’m certainly not getting enough natural vitamins through food, coupled with high anxiety levels, I always seem to have heartburn or acid reflux(I’ve been banned from taking antacids, because I used to eat them like sweets and they can cause the stomach lining to bleed) the same with over the counter painkillers, taken to help with light headedness and subsequent headaches, due not only to stress but not having enough iron.
So peppermint or ginger teas are the only things that are giving me minimal relief of my symptoms.
Homelessness still looms large, I had my first visit with my support worker today, and again told my story nothing left out, me crying, she shocked that it had been going on for so long and that I hadn’t had any real assistance, she was a bit lost for words actually.
The first thing she did was to call the benefits office to see if I could get any assistance in terms of money, which I can, I was told I couldn’t because I didn’t have an address!!!
She also called the local Night Shelter, but they have no spaces for at least two weeks, so the shop it is until a space becomes available.
I have a new agency to register with, and will be assigned another support worker who will hold my hand through the process of getting benefits and looking at the different options for accommodation, she also sent an e-mail stating that my case was urgent.
After all this time I just don’t know how to feel about it, I’ve struggled for such a long time without getting anywhere I’m a bit scared now to go through the process just in case something goes wrong, it’s such a huge relief to have much of this taken out of my hands, and allowing others to fight my corner.
I am of course glad to be receiving help, though at the back of my mind there is a growing resignation to my car crash of a life that will remain just that.
As I said today I cannot understand how my life just got so out of control, to the point where I have nowhere to live, my health is poor, and the black dog has yet again has caught up with me intent on making my life more hellish, the icing on the cake.