I shared this on Twitter last night and had to share here, the message is indeed powerful.

About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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5 Responses to Compassion

  1. Hope Turner says:

    I’m afraid to read this…but I will. Thanks for always being there for me. I’ll try to do better in being there for you. Hugs, Hope


  2. Hope Turner says:

    I threatened suicide to my husband again last night. I do it almost weekly. I know it hurts him. But I admit I don’t even begin to know how much it hurts him. I really can’t begin to imagine. I tell myself, “He doesn’t deserve this torture. He doesn’t deserve me, like I am.” I’m not who I used to be. I’m not who he married. I’m a shell of myself. I’m already dead. He can remarry. He can be free of the torment I cause him almost daily. Yes, it will be hard at first, but then the peace of healing will come. The relief of normalcy will be a comfort to him. I love him too much to make him stay with me. And he will stay with me…till death do us part. He will…he’s that wonderfully devoted to me, and our vows. He’s a wonderful man. I’m a dead woman. He loves me so much, he locks my medicines away and sets out my daily pills each morning. If he didn’t, he and I both know I would have killed myself long ago. My suicide would be a bitter-sweet gift to him. But a gift, none the less. I love him too much to stay with him.


    • Thank you for sharing this, I can’t say that during my darkest moments I found a way to carry on as I simply wished not to wake up, and now I’m glad I did awaken, even though it was to face the torture of living.

      Your husband stays because he want to, that simple, even though we tend not to realise the affect of our illness has on those around us.

      Mental illness is isolating, and that someone wants to be there, and see us at our worst without judgement, gives a silver of comfort, that your not facing this completely alone.

      Above all you must live for yourself, and when ready, you can both walk the road of recovery together.

      Take care xx

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