I don’t know about genius, though I do find I can have some pretty interesting talks with myself.
For as long as I can remember I’ve talked to myself, the well runneth over with the ever-changing topics in which I like to converse on(with myself of course).
Even as a child I had real conversations and no I didn’t have an imaginary friend, nor was I discouraged from this activity, my mother also talked to herself, I can still see her now the changing expressions on her face as she debated back and forth, her hands moving in time to her voice, so growing up that was pretty normal in our household.
Often people have looked at me in askance, as I do depending on the conversation talk out loud, and it’s only when someone answers me, that I get thrown of course, and not always able to pick up the threads of the subject or the direction that I was going with it.
I had someone at work months ago declare that I was cookoo, that being said after she had found out I suffered with depression, and not being able to deal with anything to do with the mind, she prefers to label, and so did others, it’s funny because I am very much in the moment, and it amuses me to see the sidelong glances, our the rotating finger-pointing to the head.
Sometimes other people’s complete fear of what they don’t understand, is a topic I debate about often, to me it’s more than just fear but a refusal to accept that sometimes our wires can be crossed, it’s not catching, however does require patience and understanding, in my more uncharitable moments I feel that they need to have that dialogue with themselves but their intellectual ineptness, makes them afraid of what is going inside their own minds.
I tend to store conversations that I’ve had, and ruminate over them later always looking for different perspectives not always finding them but enjoy the exercise, hence another aspect of this is that I like to spend hours just thinking, even though I’ve been told I think too much and too deeply, I’ll connect my love of people watching to this, it always amazes me what you can see when someone thinks no one is watching, it runs the gamut of joy to despair, though I flinch when I connect with despair, and the emotional sponge in me automatically wants so to soak it all up.
Several times in my life I’ve disconnected from myself and the thoughts just became a jumble, never making any sense as they tumbled around my mind without a point of exit, it was during those times when I was afraid to give vent to my thought even internally as they always seem to be hell-bent on loathing self, I would literally attack my own thoughts with loathing, and self-hatred as confidence, faith, hope were expunged from my everyday thinking.
Back to the lighter side, I like talking to myself and have often said I have the most intelligent conversations, even if I do speak for both sides, it can help bring things into focus especially in my working life as I like to be very organised and it takes the place of lists.
Another trait is that you are happily conversing then, will suddenly connect with others so you tend to start in the middle, and that can have a startling effect on others and again the “eye roll” lol whilst you collect your thought and start from the top to explain what you mean.
I suppose it is annoying when you suddenly stop to go over a finer point in your dialogue, or shout out loud when you feel you have won a point.
I think talking to yourself is very healthy as children we do it all the time, that’s how we learn, but somehow lose the habit once we go to school or are led to believe that it’ not acceptable to talk to oneself(heavens what would people think) even worse if your an adult it’s not considered “normal behaviour”
I wish someone would take the time to explain to me what is normal behaviour and who set these rules.
Does all this make me a genius or just a little off kilter, either way I’m happy with this facet of my personality and continue with that internal dialogue.
What does your inner dialogue say to you?