A bit of a mixture today, lets see the last week or so things haven’t been great with me, my mood is pretty low, by now I’m so used to the ups and downs, I try to go with the flow but it doesn’t always work.
I’m flat sitting again which ends next week, for about 5 days, but still have to find a sofa for that in-between time, which is getting harder, I keep trying to get help but because of local funding all of the charitable agencies have shut down or are reduced to such an extent most of the time isn’t worth visiting.
I’m still working and have more work, however my savings are still meagre, and saving up enough for a deposit is going at a snail’s pace, I’m seriously considering setting up a Gofundme account to see if I can speed up the process that way, it seems like begging, however that’s where I’m at right now.
I haven’t left the flat since Tuesday, seems I’ve taken myself hostage whilst I try to make sense of everything, and not really getting anywhere seems everywhere I turn I’m backed into a corner, the proverbial rabbit in the headlights.
Last night I did a post, and for some reason the formatting went wrong and I couldn’t fix it and ended up in tears, awful how something so simple can reduce you into a quivering wreck, though it’s just symptomatic of how I feel right now, so I ended up deleting the post, and it will form part of this post.
Last week I wrote a post about Acceptance I didn’t think about the downside, which I talked about in a comment, I’m more resigned than accepting, I’ve gone through all the grieving stages, but adding resignation to the list, tinged with anger, that I can’t seem to get myself together, what’s the point I ask, and as usual I have no answers, or perhaps I can’t recognise who I once was, with this stranger that has inhabited my life over the last 10 years, it sucks.
Many thanks to breakdownchick for nominating me for this award.
The Premio Dardos Award: is given in recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values in the form of creative and original writing, I would like to add for those who tirelessly make us aware about the issue of mental health, invisible illness, Abuse
* Accept the award also giving the link back to the blogger who nominated you
* Post the award on your blog
* Pass the award onto 5-10 people
Dragon Loyalty Award
Thanks to losttothedark for nominating me for this award
This award is designed to give recognition and thanks to those who support you on your blog, whether it be comments or likes ( sometimes I don’t know where I’d be without the words of wisdom and encouragement)
* Put award logo on your post and link back to the blogger who nominated you
* Nominate 5-10 bloggers
* List 7 facts about yourself
7 Facts About Me
* I’m a chocaholic, last night was eating a Twix now eating chocolate shortbread biscuits
* I’m terrified of spiders and have been known to wake neighbours up to get rid of them, seriously otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep in the house.
* I’m an old Black & White Holliwood movie fan, my favourite films and actors are Now Voyager Bette Davis, On The Waterfront- Marlon Brando
* Love travelling my fave place is New York, followed closely by Australia
* An avid reader of all genres, my particular favorites are crime thrillers, Agatha Christie anyone.. Just finished reading The Woods by Harlan Coben
* love dancing but sadly have two left feet
* My favourite foods are Roast Lamb with all the trimmings, and Chinese Food
Many thanks to losttothedark (link above) for nominating me
*Post award on blog and link back to the person who nominated you
Award blog to 5-10 bloggers.
I’m not going to list everyone, however all that I follow and comment on you all inspire me in many ways, and for that I’m grateful and honoured to be a part of such a wonderfully supportive community, so please take this award with my blessing.
I know many of you are award free, so there is no obligation to accept, that your here is also reward enough.