Acceptance

The theme for the monthly post from http://1000voicesspeak.org/ is Acceptance.

Acceptance is a word I hear/read a lot,through blog pages everyday life, therapy, sometimes it seems to me to be the byword for letting go or to some forgiveness.

I think about acceptance quite a bit, and have come to realise there are many things that I have accepted because it’s easier to rather than have the debate about the good and bad of any topic you can think of.

I do accept that there are events whether be out in the big wide world or in your own back yard that I can’t change, “what’s done is done” but tend to ruminate on how perhaps I could have changed any single event, like many I sit in front of the TV or read the news papers and weep at what is happening in the world, and feel guilty because I cannot do anything tangible to make that difference to others, even less so the difference I could make just to one person even.

It’s hard to accept that people are living in religious/tyrannical regimes, children are starving, women being mutilated, many don’t even have clean drinking water, or even water at all, I find these things very unacceptable in this day and age, and yet I have to accept that it is happening, and watch from the sidelines.

In my own life in many ways it’s been one of acceptance or as it used to be called “making the best of it” coming from a single parent family whose mother tried her damndest to gives us a good life, however, the harsh punishments,cruel criticisms were part of daily life, which I accepted as normal, there was no way for me to question those daily rituals, until much later when the impetuous is lost and then as an adult I had to try to make sense of it alone, it shaped my thinking and the way I viewed others, all those lessons had to be unlearned to make me whole.

We live in a world where the self seems to rule everything, how we look seems to be a judgement cast on us all, I’ve never been model thin, I’m tall and curvy, yet still I’ve tried every diet going trying to gain acceptance to conform to an impossible ideal of what a woman should be, whilst growing up, it wasn’t the issue it is today, yet in many ways we all succumb to the idea of beauty is to dry, crimp,perm,highlight, tan cleanse,tone moisturise, diet manicure, pedicure  pierce, tattoo, exercise, within an inch of our lives just to be accepted to this secret club.

You see mothers bullying daughters about their looks, entering them on these obscene beauty pageants, just so they fit in, instead of teaching them to accept who they are, love themselves as they are, an eight year old with highlights and french tips is pretty ridiculous, let them be children, let them become they woman they want to be.

We come to opinions, everything I write here is my opinion, it might resonate with some, others not so much, I do believe were entitled to our opinions, but do have to be careful in the way in which we use our words, if they are uttered to wound, to me you not thinking about the other persons feelings, it’s not enough to say “I’m just being honest” honesty or being forthright is not a weapon, and should not be used as such, we should be able to accept that we all have different life experience and perceptions to bring to the table and all deserved to be heard, how else are to learn and bring much-needed compassion to those not only around us but in our global community.

I accept we are all different, our cultures are different therefore what we’re taught to believe is different, but I don’t accept that we can’t make differences even in a small way.As for me I’ve learned to accept myself, however in that I’m willing to learn, change,grow, always to be a better person it’s important to accept and love yourself first before you can share that with others.