Acceptance

The theme for the monthly post from http://1000voicesspeak.org/ is Acceptance.

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Acceptance is a word I hear/read a lot,through blog pages everyday life, therapy, sometimes it seems to me to be the byword for letting go or to some forgiveness.

I think about acceptance quite a bit, and have come to realise there are many things that I have accepted because it’s easier to rather than have the debate about the good and bad of any topic you can think of.

I do accept that there are events whether be out in the big wide world or in your own back yard that I can’t change, “what’s done is done” but tend to ruminate on how perhaps I could have changed any single event, like many I sit in front of the TV or read the news papers and weep at what is happening in the world, and feel guilty because I cannot do anything tangible to make that difference to others, even less so the difference I could make just to one person even.

It’s hard to accept that people are living in religious/tyrannical regimes, children are starving, women being mutilated, many don’t even have clean drinking water, or even water at all, I find these things very unacceptable in this day and age, and yet I have to accept that it is happening, and watch from the sidelines.

In my own life in many ways it’s been one of acceptance or as it used to be called “making the best of it” coming from a single parent family whose mother tried her damndest to gives us a good life, however, the harsh punishments,cruel criticisms were part of daily life, which I accepted as normal, there was no way for me to question those daily rituals, until much later when the impetuous is lost and then as an adult I had to try to make sense of it alone, it shaped my thinking and the way I viewed others, all those lessons had to be unlearned to make me whole.

acceptance-is-key-1We live in a world where the self seems to rule everything, how we look seems to be a judgement cast on us all, I’ve never been model thin, I’m tall and curvy, yet still I’ve tried every diet going trying to gain acceptance to conform to an impossible ideal of what a woman should be, whilst growing up, it wasn’t the issue it is today, yet in many ways we all succumb to the idea of beauty is to dry, crimp,perm,highlight, tan cleanse,tone moisturise, diet manicure, pedicure  pierce, tattoo, exercise, within an inch of our lives just to be accepted to this secret club.

You see mothers bullying daughters about their looks, entering them on these obscene beauty pageants, just so they fit in, instead of teaching them to accept who they are, love themselves as they are, an eight year old with highlights and french tips is pretty ridiculous, let them be children, let them become they woman they want to be.

We come to opinions, everything I write here is my opinion, it might resonate with some, others not so much, I do believe were entitled to our opinions, but do have to be careful in the way in which we use our words, if they are uttered to wound, to me you not thinking about the other persons feelings, it’s not enough to say “I’m just being honest” honesty or being forthright is not a weapon, and should not be used as such, we should be able to accept that we all have different life experience and perceptions to bring to the table and all deserved to be heard, how else are to learn and bring much-needed compassion to those not only around us but in our global community.

I accept we are all different, our cultures are different therefore what we’re taught to believe is different, but I don’t accept that we can’t make differences even in a small way.images21As for me I’ve learned to accept myself, however in that I’m willing to learn, change,grow, always to be a better person it’s important to accept and love yourself first before you can share that with others.

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About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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18 Responses to Acceptance

  1. roweeee says:

    Well said. Being a parent is a tough job and trying to juggle accepting our children, challenging them and not giving on on what we see they can do when they can’t necessarily see it in themselves. My daughter sat for an entry test to get into what we call Opportunity Class. They attend a different primary school about 30 minutes away and there;s a test. My daughter does well but has been ill a fair bit this year and has missed a lot of school, which I am concerned will affect her results so I decided to put in a medical form. I have wondered if this was going too far but at the same time just wanted her to have what we in Australia call a “fair go”. She still might not get in or her results were fine anyway. I don’t know and I also wonder whether to just leave her at the local school and just let her be a kid with those academic pressures. I guess the test results will help determine this.
    She did physical culture for a bit and I found the emphasis on grooming similar to pageants and didn’t like it. We went to a competition and when I saw a whole room full of mothers fussing over their daughter’s like they were royalty or movie stars, I thought it was all out of balance. I do not want my daughter prancing round like some princess, especially if that makes me some kind of slave. That doesn’t show respect.
    Thanks very much xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your daughter deserves her chance, illness is quite different than encouraging her on a path of always being consumed with “self”like so many youngsters are.

      Education is so important I feel, as it can give you choices, and well as a chance to open the mind, and in the world we live in that’s a skill that’s required, as you say balance is key.

      From what I’ve read your doing a pretty good job, especially with your own health challenges, it can’t be easy at times.

      Thanks for your feedback 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • roweeee says:

        Thank you very much. I have started to feel a bit more relaxed. We’ve had quite a fun week despite the school entry tests and have been smelling the roses!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It took me a very long time to accept me as the person that I am, with shortcomings and successes all through my life that have made me who I am today. Without God, I never would have gotten this far.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nemyawaiting says:

    I needed this today. Ever since my mood swing I found that I’ve been more and more critical of my appearance. Something that I’ve been unlearning to do for about a year now. I believe there’s so many little things that is lost being raised in the single parent home. My mom did what she could with what she had. She made sure we had food shelter and clothing. But fostering a positive self-image fell by the wayside and it 36 I’m now realizing just how low my self esteem is which brings me back to my being critical about my appearance. Sometimes I wish I could be who I am in my head: confident but humble. Other the times, times like this, I wish that I didn’t exist. It may seem dramatic but it’s overwhelming for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We have similar backgrounds it seems, but back in the day, people critisised without batting an eyelid and never thinking of the effects it could have on the other person.
      I’m 50 now and still growing into my own skin, once I shook off the shackles of everybody elses approval I’ve fel much better and your inner confidence will emerge.

      Thanks for your comment 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Cat says:

    Great post Cay, which resonates on so many different levels. You already know I struggle with the meaning of ‘letting go’ and ‘moving on’ or ‘forgiveness’ and what you say about acceptance being a byword jingles one of my bells! I also think our idea of acceptance for something difficult can often actually be avoidance. Like my situation with ‘the man who talks too much.’ Rather than face my fears and just say how I feel, I tried to work from the ‘acceptance’ angle for 10mths with great frustration and stagnation. You’re so right about being careful how we use our words and this is something I’ve heard a lot of in recent days, so it must be hinting at something, eh?

    In your own situation, it takes patience and wisdom to accept what you are unable to change, but I see in you the courage to change… fingers crossed you get the right opportunities soooon

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sometimes I wonder just how much i can accept without blowing my stack, there is a definite downside.

      In your case with the group, you have already accepted that your all their to work through your problems to an successful resolution, however must you accept that one person is ramming it down your throat.

      In my personal situation /i think I’m more resigned to the whole thing rather that reached the point of acceptance, I think in some ways this gives me the impeteous to carry on rather accept knowing I have few chances if that makes sense.

      Often I think we hide behind these buzzwords, the meanings can be quite powerful, the reality somewhat different.

      Like

      • Cat says:

        I completely understand about the feelings of resignation, that pretty much sums it up. How can you accept such an unacceptable situation?. Cheers!

        Liked by 1 person

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  6. jamborobyn says:

    I really love this post. It made me think about all kinds of things I haven’t wanted to. Thank you so much.

    For some reason, I keep associating the word “acceptance” with an ideal. An ideal amongst a whole host of others that I have tried to reach, but will probably never attain. These days, when I’m relaxed I get kind of cheeky when people point out my “flaws”. I agree with them in a cheerful voice with a big grin on my face, ie. if I was perfect I would also be quite boring. When it affects me I let the smile drop from my face and wander off, I no longer seek to mask my emotions when I am hurt. If it’s over the telephone I often say ouch! followed by I have to go now. I’ve got scars, both physical and emotional, they are evidence that I have lived as a human being. I guess I’m going through a “claiming my space” phase after feeling pushed and pulled in every direction, all that trying to “correct” myself has caused me to ask – to what end exactly? Nature is not broken and neither am I – or I wouldn’t still be here.

    I tempted to do absolutely nothing to improve myself for the rest of my days. Yet I also know I will still learn and grow regardless of whether I accept things, fight things, ignore things, laugh at them, whatever. The only difference any of it will make is whether I am smiling or crying, feeling exhausted or delighted, lonely or loved, etc. So I don’t think I can ever accept dissatisfaction with who I am anymore, from outside or inside. Been there, gorged on it, moving right along… 😉 BTW, I have never admitted this before, it’s actually quite a surprise to me. Just yesterday I was working damn hard on trying to be acceptable… ah well, that failed experience combined with your post must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. So thanks again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you visiting following and liking my post. 🙂

      I feel there is so much pressure sometimes to be actively learning life lessons we have to show others look at me I’ve learned not to take that particular path again etc.

      We learn and accept in all different ways, it doesn’t mean we are failing in some way if we don’t debate it to the inth degree.

      I think we also have so little time for ourselves to process what is going on in our lives and how we can decide what to incorporate and what to discard, we just go along with the trend of “just sucking it up”, hence while I just feel resigned about certain areas of my life.

      I’m quite tired of constantly trying hard to face my issues and to make them better, only to be disappointed time and time again, then just “accepting it” so perhaps it’s time to work outside of what is acceptable and to find levels that suit me, as you say I will still learn and grow regardless, but maybe a little more creativity in how I go about things, will loosen the shackles of what acceptance means, after all I can only live my life according to my circumstances.

      Thank you for your feedback 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • jamborobyn says:

        Yeah, I agree. Have some fun with your life, you’ve surely had enough troubles that weren’t of your own making. If others have the right to make mistakes that impact us and then we are required to forgive them, plus somehow make it seem like their actions had no effect on how we feel or respond in future – then so do we have that same right to be free to choose our path and not expect dire consequences for having feelings and being a real person. Especially in those times when we can’t provide textbook responses, or when we are just tired of all the expectations. For modern day society to function coherently we seem to have collectively arrived at the conclusion that a certain level of dissatisfaction with ourselves is necessary and that we must earn the right to be. I haven’t yet met someone who is able to consistently behave like the books say. So for the life of me I can’t see any positive reason for myself to continue with that kind of striving. Freedom and joy are feelings that really make my life worth living, and in those moments I am glad for all that I have lived. Yet such feelings are not at all subject to my will, in fact they usually arise when I do the opposite of what I “should” be doing. A friend sent this to me last week. I hope you get a giggle out of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow_9MglZrhs

        Liked by 1 person

      • Seinfeld my favourite comedy show, and love serenity now, even if it did drive him a little nuts lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • jamborobyn says:

        What I was trying to say is that if your current approach has stagnated or stalled, why not let a little light in? The reality of this world and the wonder of being human is far more stupendous than perfect.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I would like to let a little light in of course, but for now, it is only a mere glimmer, but i’m ok with that, I think I just need a mental break from my problems, and do something else for a while.

        Liked by 1 person

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