Sometimes It’s Best To Say Nothing At All

tumblr_nj0g8kqsy71u7trrzo1_1280In my musings I realised that although I write a lot about mental health/homelessness, sometimes or often in fact I don’t express my anger over the various events in my life, moreover the words or phrases others use to label you.

I’m going to list what I loathe about mental illness and homelessness.

* Mental

I loathe the word mental even when coupled with illness, it’s the word mental that jumps out and settles in the mind.

It also conjures up images of men in white coats taking you away of being in a straight jacket in a padded cell, when you’re in the grip of a mental illness/or disorder you are its hostage and it can take many years to put it right depending on the diagnoses and support you get.

* Self Indulgence

I’ve heard this being said many times, of course those of who are depressed just gorge ourselves on negative emotions, it’s such a blast to indulge in hopelessness and invisible pain.

* It’s just a Phase

I don’t know of many phases that can last years, so much so that you need to medicated and have therapy, I went through phases in my teenage years, mental illness is nothing like that, or I’ve had a tantrum that has lasted a very long time!!!

*What Have You Got To Be Depressed About

Well on the surface nothing but within there is a tidal wave of negativity that doesn’t stop, it robs me of peace of mind, sleep, appetite, happiness suicide ideation, lack of self-worth, and yes in days gone by I did have a nice home a great job money seemingly on the outside everything.

* Cheer Up

I would love to “cheer up” even if it’s just to make you happy, but it runs deeper than that, try scratching the surface, just for 5 minutes.

* Everybody Has Problems

I’m well aware that everybody has problems and we all handle our issues in different ways, it’s when we can handle what is happening in our lives past and present, and even the future, the problem being is that I can’t deal with other people’s problems, when I’m an empty shell, added to that I cannot save anything when I don’t even have a home its not a priority.

*At Least Your Not Out On The Streets

That’s one aspect of being homeless which I’m thankful for, it doesn’t make any less frightening when you don’t know sometimes where you going to sleep from one night to the next.

* Why Did You Allow Yourself To Become Homeless

I didn’t allow it, it was an unexpected event I didn’t actually believe I would become homeless, debt, depression, unsympathetic banks/mortgage companies played a part and my own inability to cope with the enormity of what might happen.

* Get  A Grip

My number one pet peeve, if I could get a grip I wouldn’t be in this position would I.

* You Think Too Much

This has actually said to me, and what is more it was declared that my brain over heated because I spent too much time thinking…moving swiftly on

* Other People Cope Why Can’t You

Exasperated sigh……

* What You Need Is A Holiday

Oh yes, I can take all my crap to a different place the difference being ,is that the weather will be nicer, and being homeless I won’t have to worry about somewhere to stay!!!

* You must Try Harder

How hard exactly, how do you measure that, do you mean when in the grip of a depressive episode I must try harder to get out of bed, get dressed, bathe, eat, stop crying, start crying, leave the room, leave the house talk, seriously how much harder must I work to get back to a good mental state and have a roof over my head.

* Can’t Your Doctor Give You Something

Yes they can, usually pill which can make you feel worse, pills are easy during your initial 10 minute consultation writing a prescription is about all they have time for, you have to bang on doors fight to get referred to the right people who can offer support, taking a tonic just doesn’t work.

* You need to Get Out More

And what? let me see not mope about and be alone with my morbid thoughts, well I’m out most days all day and my thoughts still get very dark, and when depressed the very idea of going anywhere filled me with an indescribable dread, which enforced my feelings of isolation.

* Have You Talked To Someone

Well I mentioned isolation, you feel as though your alone in this, and it takes an enormous effort and commitment to open up and talk through your various issues, and you can’t always be sure that the person you’re talking to is going to be able to support you, which comes down to an issue of trust, if you can get past the stigma of mental illness and admitting that you are ill.

Thankfully not all lack understanding and many once they know are willing to lend an ear, however taking that first step is a leap of faith.

 

What are your pet peeves about the misconceptions of mental illness and what people say to you in their efforts to help.

 

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About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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12 Responses to Sometimes It’s Best To Say Nothing At All

  1. Gale Wright says:

    Well said! I really don’t have a lot of faith in people these days. It’s a wonder I ever did. Depression has removed my illusions about other people and I suppose that someday I will consider it useful that I see some things more clearly than before. Right now, though, it’s ALL pet peeves and frustration and me not having the energy to trust and rely on too many others to come through with support and understanding. The few who can…. have had depression themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I just get so tired of the silly meaningless questions, I know on the one hand they’re trying to be helpful, unfortunately they’re not interested in the causes, therefore your answers don’t make sense.

      I don’t have the energy either, but feel i must make some sort of effort, otherwise I’ll be even more non communicative, it’s a double edged sword.
      Thanks as always for your feedback:)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. JC says:

    I love this list. If people would only think before they speak.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hear you. It all applies to me as well, though I’m not homeless. The ‘Mental’ is truly an annoying word.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Also, I’m in a wheelchair, but I’m not disabled, I’m differently-abled. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cat says:

    Nicely said. I’ve heard it all, “get a life… get over yourself… yes, we’ve all had problems but we just had to get on with it…life is what you make it…huh, most of them came from my manic depressive mother who had a man and a good wage packet every Frid. Anyway, the most idiotic of your list is, “Why did you allow yourself to become homeless?” Oh well, you know, I just fancied kicking off my heels on a park bench during the day and searching for beds by night… why would I ever need a holiday when I have this… that’s why I allowed myself such a privilege…. gad, some people make me sick

    Liked by 2 people

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