Determined Excuses

6264408fef0d13eb6b4ab0f99ce04bf6Thinking back to a conversation I’ had last year, it brought home to me that I’m still in the same place I was then, correction the circle has got a little wider, and I’ve yet to step outside of it.

Our discussion was about, how I was going to move forwards, my usual stock answer was “I don’t know” the response was silence and when pushed for an answer I was told I was making excuses and if they were in my position they’d never give up.

I didn’t jump all over this, and to point out the obvious we all handle events in our lives differently, and if I’m honest if the boot was on the other foot I’d probably would have said the same thing.

Thinking about this over the last few days, made me realise that phrases like “never give up” set you up to fail in some ways, I like to try to be positive, but not in the motivational way, but in more practical terms about what I can do in the here and now, having a positive outlook on life is great, but it doesn’t put a roof over my head or food on the table, I need something more real than happy thoughts.

That is not to say I don’t believe that good things will come my way, and I will have to work for them like everybody else, but there are times in my life when I do make excuses, because I cannot face another knock back, and am just trying to save myself additional pain that has to be dealt with at a later date.

b3a731c2e07b656df15c49ab5a964980I find  can be as determined as I like, and not give up, be positive, say my affirmations in front of the mirror each day, believe in myself, nothing with change, is that an excuse or just the plain reality of my life presently.

Is my mindset only set on what channel, I could move, but my circumstance will be the same only in a different place, and in that place where I don’t know anyone or have any kind of support network, how would I manage or is that another excuse for not wanting real change.

My own reasoning is to stay, yes all kinds of bad things happened here, but I’ve survived thus far, but I want to look the people I know in the eye, I suppose you can call that determination or folly depending on your view-point, and truth be told I don’t want to start again somewhere else, another excuse perhaps, I made mistakes that had a devastating impact on my life, I ran away several times to the recesses of my mind, this time I want to face whatever happens face on.

That’s not about being positive, it’s about taking charge of what I can change and leaving what I can’t where it is.

How do you feel about positive thinking, does it work for you.

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About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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6 Responses to Determined Excuses

  1. Cat says:

    Positive thinking or affirmations do absolutely nothing for me. I am similar to your own ‘dealing with the practical’ philosophy. I think it is so easy for us to judge and advice other people, it’s easier than being available to support someone to do it their own way

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  2. Someone wrote a book called, “The Power of Positive Thinking.” I didn’t read it. I have to admit that I am a pessimist at heart, and at the age of 55 now, that’s something that I’m not sure I can change. But I’ve been told that if I think about positive things, I’ll do positive things, and this has been true for the past few weeks. So look on the bright side. We can change our attitudes together!

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    • it seems looking on the bright side has failed me. or I’ve failed at it miserably, anyway, I’ll always try to change my thinking about my various problems, more to see if there’s something I’ve missed, I can only go forwards.

      I don’t know about positive thinking but will try to change my attitude about things, thank you:)

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