Well the month of April has been a roller coaster ride to say the least, but has allowed me to share with you my struggles with homelessness and give I think very clear examples of the realities many face.
When undertaking this challenge, to be honest, homelessness wasn’t the first subject that came to mind, I thought I’d base it more on mental health which is what I tend to write about, it wasn’t an exactly an eureka moment, but though I have another issue lurking in the background, and one that I needed to give voice to, so I went public with my second choice.
I have to admit each day when I chose a letter, it scared me to be so open about my life, and what I’ve been dealing with, I’m used to stigma but this is a different kind and wondered if I was putting myself so far out on a ledge, that I wouldn’t be able to come back.
For the second time in my life I completely laid myself bare, some would say it makes you stronger, I didn’t get that feeling, it made me feel even more isolated and so far removed from the societal norms, and the feeling of being judged, sometimes made me feel quite ill, but something inside said no and I pushed on to complete the challenge.
As I wrote each day it dawned on me, just how out of control this area of my life had become, and that for almost 3 years I’d been using a sticking plaster to cover the widening cracks, and how homelessness had become normal, my thinking being if I had a roof over my head I was Ok lucky even, and by using this challenge it has given me some of my fight back, and accepting this is not normal and the entire situation cannot continue, I need to be in charge of my life not the other way around.
A fresh game plan is in place, what it will bring who know’s but I have to try, because not to would mean I could be in this mess for years to come, and there aren’t that many sofas left to surf.
I would like to thank all those who visited, followed and commented, especially the commenters who gave me such a boost and so much hope as they followed my story, their encouragement, kept me going, and it humbled me to realise there are many with compassion, and that gives me hope and a nudge forward, kind heartfelt words are all it takes sometimes.
Although the A-Z challenge was hard, I’d do it again, and one thing I do take from it, is that I do have a voice and sometimes people listen, so all in all it was a positive experience.
Again THANK YOU for taking the time to read and hopefully it has given you a better understanding of what it can mean to be homeless.