X Ray

images61A- Z Blogging Challenge – Theme: Homelessness

X = X ray

It was quite hard to come up with a post beginning with the letter X, so lets see what I can make out of it.

My post the last couple of days have been short not because I’ve run out of things to say, it’s just been hitting me how hard this subject has been, and that I don’t seem to be moving forwards.

I think I’ve done a complete x-ray of my life over the last 3 weeks, and the spectre of homelessness is ugly and unrelenting, and as I read more and more about the subject I’ve come to realise that it’s almost hopeless, and yet I keep trying.

Where I’m staying presently is ok, but as I said in a comment to a reader, sometimes generosity comes with conditions, which you have no choice but to accept, so out by 10am, and back from 10pm onwards.

They are not accepting money, but of course in lieu of that I offered to help with housework, even though I’m not there 12 hrs out of the day, and the only facility I use is the bathroom, I eat elsewhere and have no food stuffs in the house, and take my belongings out with me daily, just in case there is a change of mind when I get back.

This really in no way to live, I have lost my autonomy, but as always I just think I have no choice, my hosts know it too, and it’s a delicate balance of being a good unobtrusive guest to being a nuisance.

The writing over the last few weeks made really look how out of control my life has become, and in trying to take charge again I’m thwarted at every turn because I don’t fit a certain criteria for help.

I’ve talked about changing my game plan to try to move myself up the shaky ladder of being accommodated, and have an appointment next week, so we’ll see what that brings.

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About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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5 Responses to X Ray

  1. I like your use of the letter X, that’s a good metaphor. X seems to be a hard one for most people doing this challenge. It has been really enlightening to me to read your posts on homelessness because you have been right all the way through this and the truth is people only really see a stereotype when they think of homelessness. And that stigma is terrible.

    I honestly hope that things get easier for you, and that you are able to get somewhere permanent to live soon.

    Take Care x

    Liked by 1 person

    • On the home bit I’m trying and it is very trying to get that sorted out:), it seems to some were just a mass of stereotypes, it’s easier for them to think that way as opposed to change their thinking.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Cat says:

    I can appreciate it has been a painful inventory, but it sounds as though you are considering new options and I really do hope something materialises

    Liked by 1 person

    • Painful, yes, but I think I needed to do it, it’s given me a different perspective and new ways to approach the various hurdles, so as usual fingers crossed.

      As always thank you for your kind feedback, you have helped x:)

      Liked by 1 person

    • Well it’s all out in the open now, and it’s reduced me to tears a few times, but given me a few ideas in terms of getting help a new appraoch is needed, so who knows, with luck it’ll pay off down the road hopefully sooner rather than later.

      Liked by 1 person

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