X = X ray
It was quite hard to come up with a post beginning with the letter X, so lets see what I can make out of it.
My post the last couple of days have been short not because I’ve run out of things to say, it’s just been hitting me how hard this subject has been, and that I don’t seem to be moving forwards.
I think I’ve done a complete x-ray of my life over the last 3 weeks, and the spectre of homelessness is ugly and unrelenting, and as I read more and more about the subject I’ve come to realise that it’s almost hopeless, and yet I keep trying.
Where I’m staying presently is ok, but as I said in a comment to a reader, sometimes generosity comes with conditions, which you have no choice but to accept, so out by 10am, and back from 10pm onwards.
They are not accepting money, but of course in lieu of that I offered to help with housework, even though I’m not there 12 hrs out of the day, and the only facility I use is the bathroom, I eat elsewhere and have no food stuffs in the house, and take my belongings out with me daily, just in case there is a change of mind when I get back.
This really in no way to live, I have lost my autonomy, but as always I just think I have no choice, my hosts know it too, and it’s a delicate balance of being a good unobtrusive guest to being a nuisance.
The writing over the last few weeks made really look how out of control my life has become, and in trying to take charge again I’m thwarted at every turn because I don’t fit a certain criteria for help.
I’ve talked about changing my game plan to try to move myself up the shaky ladder of being accommodated, and have an appointment next week, so we’ll see what that brings.