Ordinary

ordinary-titleheaderA-Z Blogging Challenge – Theme: Homelessness

O =Ordinary

Although the theme of this challenge is homelessness I want to explain a little more about what it has meant to me.

I’m just an ordinary woman who thought she would do one or two extraordinary things in life, well it didn’t pan out that way, but have had some extraordinary events happen that have shaped my life to the point where I am now.

I would like to do ordinary things like:

Cook, I’m a trained chef, however I love food , so being not able to cook is difficult to me, and a staple diet of package foods doesn’t fill me with joy, but needs must.

Having friends over for the evening, I get invited for dinner etc a couple of times a month I go because it means I get a home cooked meal, and of course the company, but I can’t reciprocate.

Taking a long shower or bath, you have to be mindful of people’s generosity especially if it’s going to cost them extra in bills.

Being able to stretch out on the sofa watching TV or reading, this was one of my luxuries, but you cannot do that in someone elses home, as much as they say they don’t mind you being there, but making yourself at home is sometimes a step to far.

When sofa surfing, in one or two places I’ve had to be out,between the hours of 8-9 come rain or shine and not to be back until at least 10pm, when I wasn’t working that was a lot of hours to fill.

Nowhere to unpack your clothes, I’ve often called myself the bag lady, as I can literally carry my life in a rucksack.

Not having a proper address to receive mail, always relying on e-mail, or having to visit the various offices I got to fill out forms there this is a huge reminder of your homeless status.

Being subject to people’s whims, they say you can stay “for as long as you like” then a few days in, “you have to leave …now” once or twice I’ve had to literally plead that they let me stay until the morning.

Where I was last living she just packed up my stuff and sent it to my place of work in a taxi!!!!, that debacle nearly broke me again, I saw her for the first time last week and just kept on walking, karma will visit her of that I’m sure.

Lastly dealing with unscrupulous landlords who charge exorbitant rent for a rat hole with shared facilities, in one place the shower was operated by coins £1 per 15 minutes, in fact the whole house should have been condemned but they chance their luck on the fact that beggars can’t be choosers.

I wish for an ordinary life doing the mundane things, that most people do, I want to be ordinary not marginalised living on the edges of society.

It’s said what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, well there are days when I can barely hold my head up, the fight vanishing as yet another set back occurs, one step forward two steps back, i know I’ll have to ride this rollercoaster until it stops.images99

 

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About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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7 Responses to Ordinary

  1. Cat says:

    Reading this and the last post reminded me of a time when I ended up homeless many years ago. I was late 20’s. My landlord evicted me for arrears from one flat, but I had a period of maybe a month before I could move to my new place. Technically, I was homeless and very desperate. Just as there are the unlikeliest of people who reach out, there are also the unlikeliest of people who are nasty bitches, including your so-called horrible mates. If it’s not happening to them, it’s never happened at all.

    I remember staying with a very good friend and then being told that I would need to leave for a week, maybe two, because he had some fancy man coming to stay whom he had just met in Blackpool!! When we are desperate, REALLY desperate, what else can we do but beg for mercy? It’s one of the most humiliating and degrading situations to be in. I can understand if people just don’t want to reach out and I can even appreciate if they feel that they paid the bills, while I did not, but don’t offer a rug then pull it from under my feet.

    I look forward to the time when you DO get all those ordinary things back

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sometimes I feel that people play on that desperation, well I’ve have experienced it to a degree and to be honest that’s more scary than just being homeless, because they can ask you to leave at anytime and you have no recourse.

      Like I said there have been incredible kindnessess, but there have also been what I can only say is out and out cruelty, why because they can, it’s certainly opened my eyes to a few whom I called friends.

      It is the ordinary things I miss most.

      Thank you so much for all your comments thus far, you have given me a measure of hope:)

      Liked by 2 people

      • A says:

        Yeah, it’s so easy to boss someone around who is homeless and even treat the person as if his or her brain is no longer working. I too was homeless for a short while. But really, homelessness can happen to anyone! It is like slipping and breaking an arm, or getting the flu. I wonder if the people who do that, boss someone around etc, are just basically very insecure or are scared by the idea of homelessness.

        Rabbit holez, this post made me think of a woman I know in the Netherlands. Blogs about cooking and with recipes are popular. You clearly love to blog and are good at it. Maybe you already have a blog about cooking, but if not, think about starting one? It might enable you to have something joyful to focus on much more often.

        There is a WordPress app that lets people adjust recipe quantities: WP Ultimate Recipe. I was told it is very good, and very well supported, whatever that means.

        There is a woman in England, called Jack Monroe, who started blogging about how she fed her children on very little money. Her blog became very popular. I think she published a book, and now writes newspapers columns too. She could not possibly have foreseen that her blog would become so popular and what it would lead to. The key, sometimes, is to focus on what you love most and for you, that seems to be cooking.

        My maternal grandmother was a professional cook, btw; she used to cook for wealthy German families before she married to a farmer.

        Lots of love, and a big hug!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for commenting, this challenge is really to explain my experiences with homelessness, and my blog deals also with depression(mine), and the two subjects are linked quite closely.

        Thanks for your suggestions, Jackie Monroe is from the town where I live and she is very successful, and her blog was born out of need, to show that when you live on a very low income you can still eat very well.

        Although I am a trained chef and love cooking and entertaining it’s not really my passion in life, and until I have somewhere permanent to live I cannot move forwards with any passion I may have.

        My blog is to break down the stigma about mental health issues and homelessness, I’m in recovery from severe depression, now I just need to find a place I can call home.

        Thanks very much for your feedback and suggestions.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Cat says:

        It’s almost as if they love the power trip, they have more than us and they also have one over on us. We find ourselves having to be a people pleaser because we’re so desperate

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The closest I’ve ever come to experiencing what you describe was in the aftermath of Hurricane Rita. We went a month without electricity and it changed how we lived and did things quite a bit. But still, it is nothing compared to what you experience. I know that no matter how comfortable I am at someone else’s home, I never feel like I can rest, relax and be myself until I get to mine.
    On the Post A to Z Road Trip from S.E. Texas and Life & Faith in Caneyhead.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s so hard being a guest, even if you know the people well, you are uncofrtable and I often feel like I’m in the way, it makes for a depressing experience, and makes us yearn for the comfort and privacy of our own home.

      Thanks for your comment:)

      Like

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