Hopeful

images47A-Z Blogging Challenge – Theme: Homelessness

H=Hopeful

These last few years I seemed to live on hope, I hoped I wouldn’t receive letters from various companies wanting money that I didn’t have.

I hoped that I would win my case against being repossessed

I hoped I wouldn’t be repossessed

I hoped I wouldn’t be homeless

All the above happened, so my hope was worth nothing it seems to have passed me by and yet I still continue to fight to have a home of my own again

I keep hoping that something is just around the corner, but whatever it is I can’t catch it or when I get the tail end it slips through my fingers, and off I go chasing this illusion of sleeping in my own bed under my own roof, you don’t realise how precious that is until you lose it.

It’s more than just having a place to call your own, it’s more than just possessions,even more than the sound of chatter,laughter, it’s like your pulse it’s where your heart dwells it’s what makes us secure, keeps us safe, makes us visible to the outside world.

I think for me that’s the hardest part to become invisible I’m now just a statistic and to many not to be counted as part of the community because I don’t have a home,

I said in my last post homeless now has many different faces and it’s not just those who are escaping abusive relationships/drug/alcohol misuse, relationship breakdowns/runaways, there are now more and more people who were productive in terms of having a good job, being able to meet their financial commitments, through debt and loss of jobs who now find themselves in this predicament, don’t get me wrong it’s not that your better than anybody else it’s just like me I never even considered it could happen.

People look at you and immediately think “you can’t be homeless” it’s not possible that someone who is educated earned a good salary can be without a home, well as I found out it can happen and at the end of the day it makes no difference about your former life society doesn’t take that into account, your still seen as something that has to be given attention to, afterall to some there are far more worthy causes, their hard-earned taxes going to keep you it’s always about the money.

The reality is not something a lot of people wish to face, plain and simple they think it’s your fault, which it is to an extent, but does that mean that we can’t have hope for a better future, does it mean that homelessness should be talked about in whispers, it creates stigma and that can further wreck lives if people don’t feel they can talk about it or worse access any help that might be available.

I have many hopes and ambitions for the future, I beat the terrible spectre of depression and I shall beat this I just hope it’s sooner rather than later.

With the 12 million alleged cuts to benefits after the election, the problem of homelessness will become more wide spread and should not be ignored.

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About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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5 Responses to Hopeful

  1. coastalbeach says:

    Thank you for opening up my eyes to the plight of the homeless and having the bravery share your story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m finding it a little to tough to open up like this, but after depression ,then recovery, this is my last barrier to hurdle, hopefully something more positive will come from it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Cat says:

    Too often, we think of ourselves as weak, but when you consider some of the things people go through, the display of strength, willpower, and hope, are staggering. If you gave up hope, you would probably be on the streets by now. You’ll get through this, I just know you will and I strongly encourage you to think about writing about this one day and finding a publisher. You’re a great writer and have a fascinating story of courage to tell.

    People will always point the finger. Sometimes it feels as if part of being human is to look for someone/something to judge and vent our frustrations on those deemed less worthy. We all make mistakes and there are things we wish we had done things differently, but people tend to forget their own struggles in life. Mind you, the privileged are fortunate never to experience what we have, so can seldom find empathy for our plight.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot.

      I agree we all have struggles and the way things are these days we can only focus it seems on oursleves, we forget to be good neighbours in that sense.

      I have to be as strong as I can as this is my last hurdle in what has been frankly a crappy 3 years, and the need for that cycle to end is what drives me forwards or sometimes hurtling towards an end point.

      I thinking about using this challenge for a basis for a book, time will tell, my courage fails me almost daily but i still find that thread to go on(I’ve always been stubborn) and there times when defeat seems almost welcome, but I’ll keep going, you never know what is around the corner, i just need it to be something good for a change.

      Like

      • Cat says:

        Your courage only fails you at the mo because you’re using up all your reserves to deal with what you’ve got. Once you’ve settled, it might feel right.

        Like

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