These last few years I seemed to live on hope, I hoped I wouldn’t receive letters from various companies wanting money that I didn’t have.
I hoped that I would win my case against being repossessed
I hoped I wouldn’t be repossessed
I hoped I wouldn’t be homeless
All the above happened, so my hope was worth nothing it seems to have passed me by and yet I still continue to fight to have a home of my own again
I keep hoping that something is just around the corner, but whatever it is I can’t catch it or when I get the tail end it slips through my fingers, and off I go chasing this illusion of sleeping in my own bed under my own roof, you don’t realise how precious that is until you lose it.
It’s more than just having a place to call your own, it’s more than just possessions,even more than the sound of chatter,laughter, it’s like your pulse it’s where your heart dwells it’s what makes us secure, keeps us safe, makes us visible to the outside world.
I think for me that’s the hardest part to become invisible I’m now just a statistic and to many not to be counted as part of the community because I don’t have a home,
I said in my last post homeless now has many different faces and it’s not just those who are escaping abusive relationships/drug/alcohol misuse, relationship breakdowns/runaways, there are now more and more people who were productive in terms of having a good job, being able to meet their financial commitments, through debt and loss of jobs who now find themselves in this predicament, don’t get me wrong it’s not that your better than anybody else it’s just like me I never even considered it could happen.
People look at you and immediately think “you can’t be homeless” it’s not possible that someone who is educated earned a good salary can be without a home, well as I found out it can happen and at the end of the day it makes no difference about your former life society doesn’t take that into account, your still seen as something that has to be given attention to, afterall to some there are far more worthy causes, their hard-earned taxes going to keep you it’s always about the money.
The reality is not something a lot of people wish to face, plain and simple they think it’s your fault, which it is to an extent, but does that mean that we can’t have hope for a better future, does it mean that homelessness should be talked about in whispers, it creates stigma and that can further wreck lives if people don’t feel they can talk about it or worse access any help that might be available.
I have many hopes and ambitions for the future, I beat the terrible spectre of depression and I shall beat this I just hope it’s sooner rather than later.
With the 12 million alleged cuts to benefits after the election, the problem of homelessness will become more wide spread and should not be ignored.