I’d taken a few days off from posting, and catching up and finding some new blogs to read(if I’m not careful this will turn into a full-time job !), but really just wanted a few days off from writing about myself, I’m learning to take breathers and focus on other things more interesting or at least different.
As I freelance work this last few weeks has piled up a little, sometimes there can be a drought and like now I’m up to my neck , so for at least the next couple of weeks I’ll be earning a little more which will go into the new home fund.
I’ve been quite lucky I’ve been flat sitting for a friend for the last 3 weeks, and think that comes to end towards the end of this week then it’s back to sofa surfing which as you can imagine I’m not looking forwards to, however needs must.
The charitable agency that has been helping has not been that helpful, the properties or houseshares have not been suitable, I realise beggars can’t be choosers, but it’s important that I stay local as I do have work and cannot afford the additional travel costs to come in each day, that will eat away at my meagre savings, and going forwards is where I need to be.
My case worker is not very happy and feels that I’m being too fussy, but as I don’t really fit into their criteria, I don’t need to go into a hostel or half way house, and would be taking the space of someone who requires that structure, plus it’s in their remit to offer me accommodation suitable for my needs and they have to take into consideration how long I’ve lived in this borough(over 20yrs) age, I don’t have alcohol or drug related problems, funnily being type 2 diabetic and depressed doesn’t make me vulnerable, so therefore have to wait longer.
So I’m hoping that more work will come in so I can save enough for a deposit all in all I need about £1200, which seems like a steep mountain to climb as I still have other expenses, and if I trim those anymore I’ll be left with next to nothing each week.
I’ve kept to my mission statement written at the end of last year and I feel pretty good mentally, I’m seeing results in terms of work, and in myself, but the biggie is having a home of my own again, looking at it positively I am saving towards that goal and for now I do have a roof over my head.
To go back briefly to the criteria needed from the charity, they recognise that I suffer with depression, but as I’m not currently having any episodes, suicidal, self harming, they view my condition as manageable, and should there be any changes let them know and all the extra help will kick in, which is a bit of a paradox as on their form I dutifully answered the questions, but it’s not enough, and I really don’t want to summon up my darkest moments just to get help.
It’s unfortunate that they don’t want to help people at the between stage, in some ways I feel I damned by having this illness and damned that it doesn’t seem severe enough to warrant help, discrimination and stigma all rolled into one, but patience is required, I feel that to bang on doors would make me seem to them a nuisance rather than someone in need.