Today emptiness hit me, I feel so alone from myself which means the disconnect is upon me.
I can’t accept that in a few short weeks and after over a year of recovery I am lost.
Oh yes I’m joining the dots, I function, however that hollow feeling has been gnawing at me for over a week, seems to have got through.
I’m so tired and feel I could sleep for a thousand years, and still not waking up feeling refreshed, or released from my current round of disasters.
Friends have been great, but they cannot lift my spirits, in addition to that, I feel guilty burdening them with my troubles, it always seems within the small group that it’s always my life that spins out of control.
I’m ashamed that I’m not taking better care of myself, and the affirmations I utter everyday are now mocking me with their empty promises, that following the rules will bring you fulfillment….ha
All I want is life that isn’t this.