Can You Hear Me


As many already know when you fall into the pit of depression, it can take a Herculean effort to get yourself to the otherside to recovery.

We need support, not just from the medical profession, but friends and family, as they are often the ones who have to live with the fallout.

There is however a downside to this when those close to you wish to manage your condition, which in itself is incredibly unhelpful, and can worsen your illness.

Support is what is required and when someone attempts to manage how you should feel, it’s akin to being trapped in quick sand, we all know our triggers, but we can’t agree to someone’s assessment just please them, or to reinforce negative feelings they may hold against us.

In them trying to help, they can inhibit the free flow of discussion, or attempt to be at your side in even answering questions for you, all this does is to aid your already low self esteem, and it’s difficult to make them stop through fear of reproach.

This especially holds true in relationships, when is much stronger than the other, which brings up the subject about inequality within a close relationship.

These type of relationships can be suffocating anyway, and you may be co-dependent, and your drowing, and they cannot see that this is a journey you have to take without them, which clearly leads to conflict.

You really do have to let someone go, so they can find their way back, it’s not because they don’t need you, but simply this is a journey for one, and in time as confidence grows, you support will he invaluable, but they must be allowed breathing space.

It’s a terrible thing to watch loved ones in so much pain, and one can be made to feel redundant, and we don’t always fully realise the effects this has in relationships/family, and we all have learn different ways in how we relate to each other, which only works if your willing not only to listen, but also look inside yourself too.

About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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4 Responses to Can You Hear Me

  1. pepe2509 says:

    This piece today completely echoes how I feel. Balancing depression with your ‘normal’ life is an enormous effort, and I feel crushed that sometimes the illness looks outwardly like you’re making no effort at all. There is an ongoing struggle to self heal, but remain in all the roles and relationships life has created. Let me know if you find the answer… X

    Liked by 1 person

    • Balance is hard to achieve, I strive to, but have found many things have to give.

      Depression is so final in many ways, although you can rebuild, sometimes those around you have a hard time accepting those changes.


  2. ahuelon says:

    To answer the question above. I think we sometimes see ourselves through a different lens. We are more critical and unforgiving of ourselves as well. It is easy to solve a problem we are detached from. Our solution for others could be way off of the mark, because we often don’t know the entire story. And if that is the case we don’t have to pay the price for bad advice. Plus if we try to fix ourselves it takes work and may be painful to do the work necessary. I sometime have to remind myself that when I am pointing at someone, three fingers are pointing back at me. Yikes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the way you put thus, balance is still the I think, but it’s where ti draw that line.

    We need support, however it must be realised that others cannot manage how we feel, or indeed how quickly we should function again, it inhibits especially at a time when we should be open and honest.

    Your right at times you can 3 ir more fingers pointing at you, and which one to choose to deal with…often none as it becomes too much and we run for cover.


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