If Only……

If onlySometimes it seems my whole existence has been a series of “If Only” I know I can never change the past, but in my head I rewrite so many scenes, of course always with a more palatable ending.

If I was asked the question “What would I change about my life” I honestly wouldn’t know how to respond, there has been much good and a lot of bad, I’ve learned to accept and live with my mistakes and appreciate the good, but still the question lingers “If Only”.

Trying to change your life for the better is an uphill battle, as the changes have to come from the inside, so regret is a waste of energy I know this, then the next question is “did I have a choice” we always have choices, but that takes courage,  plus my mind took me hostage and there was no stopping that monster, however I did make the choice to get well the rest of the “If Only’s” are just that, as there is nothing I can do to affect what the outcome might have been.

I choose acceptance, I choose moving forward, I choose life, I choose me.

About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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