Not Feeling IT Today!

1157565_787970467930511_2722261463452463000_nI woke up out of sorts this morning, and after two days off I should have been full of beans, but also I over ate last night so the pasta was still laying a little heavy on me(sorry tmi).

Anyway I managed to get into work, and was definitely not feeling that, i just wasn’t in the mood, to make it worse it was pretty quiet and I like to be active.

The plan was to bake a couple of cakes, but they hadn’t got all the ingredients in and that pretty much set the mood.

I belong to a local association that works in the community and that seems to be fraught with other people’s agendas, as to what the direction the group should go in, there was then a very heated debate about it, all I could hear was shouting, so of course nothing was settled.

We had one person who just shouts all the time trying to bludgeon you with her opinions, and she totally disregards anything you have to say, she’s just interested in being right, anyone who knew before, would have been amazed that I said nothing, because usually i would have toe to toe, but I really can’t be bothered now, it’s not that I can’t stand my ground, but I won’t over trivialities.

This put me into a bit of a funk and it set off my OCD, which saw me re-arranging the same area about five times, I could see one of the others noticed and she asked if I was ok, I replied yes but because she broke my concentration it set me off again, now I’m going to have to explain my sometimes erratic behaviour to someone new,I’m trying not to obsess about what I’m going to say.

It’s 7.18 and I still haven’t decided on dinner usually I eat at work, so I didn’t shop, the local supermarket closed at 7pm which is 5 minuets away, so now I’ll have to walk to another one 20 minuets away, or I might just have a take away not good as I’m diabetic and have to regulate my sugar levels with medication and food.

To top it all off I cancelled tonight with friends and now wish I hadn’t, which is stupid as I need someone to talk to, my closest friend is away presently and I badly need to talk to him, as he has a way of brining me round and making me laugh.

I know it’s just a bad day, it just pisses me of the knock on effect it can have, and I can’t seem to shake it off.

I think I’ll be sensible and trudge to the supermarket and get something in for dinner, cooking usually relaxes me, tomorrow will probably be better.

About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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2 Responses to Not Feeling IT Today!

  1. I hope you find something nice to eat, if I could pass it through the internet I would share my left over pizza…. I still have a lot left.


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