Words!

wordsAs a child, you got used to the words adults used towards you, such as:

Your so slow, Your clumsy, Why are you so stupid,  Just look at your face, Why can’t you be like….. You must try harder

You accept them because they come from a place of authority, even though they have their effect, in terms of making you doubt your abilities, your looks, the way you speak, walk, eat your food, but you see the adults don’t realise that.

Words can cause irreparable harm and of course as you get older and hear those words or similar in the work place, relationship, friends it just reinforces those feelings you had as a child, that’s why some appear to be very sensitive about everything, then your, “your over reacting”, you can’t win.

To talk is to interact and we can’t possibly know what might be a trigger for some and yet even though we supposedly live in more open times, most fear speaking up because they might cause offense but rarely because they might hurt another’s feelings.

As depressives know, the platitudes are meaningless, because the people uttering them lack the understanding of your condition, so they say things like “get a grip” jeez if I only I could get a grip on your throat I’ve often thought, I wouldn’t of course, but there are times when words make me want to lash out.

Words spewed forth are like physical blows, from strangers they don’t hurt so much but from those who know you well, they know where to aim and what will cause the most damage, and that is more of a control issue too, and it’s a tough cycle to break, as people smell what they perceive to be weakness, and seek to open those fissures wider.

I often wonder, if people think what happens after they have put their words out into the open, do they realise, their friends/relatives may go home and self harm, entertain thoughts of suicide or in fact do so, if not the extreme reaction they just bury themselves a little deeper into their personal darkness.

Sometimes we lose the will to fight back, I know I did, so you sit there mute taking each verbal dart as though you deserve it, it’s payback, what they say only reinforces the negative thoughts you have about yourself, after all you’re your own harshest critic.

I have learned to choose my words more carefully, not only to others but when directed at myself, because I’m not that stupid clumsy girl anymore, but for a long time I believed I was.

Advertisements

About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
This entry was posted in Blogs, Depression, Mental Health and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Words!

  1. ahuelon says:

    Great wisdom. There are a lot of foolish people out there who have no idea how harmful words can be and many don’t give a damn. They need to be ignored. Anyone who puts someone down is down themselves, and wants to pull you down to their level. Chose friends carefully and leave bullies to their own cowardly hell that they create.

    Like

    • I agree, and it runs deeper than that, words spoken carelessly, without emotional intelligence, they just leave me amazed, that they have absolutley no insight it’s scary.

      The control freaks who use words to bludgeon you , well leave them to their own cowardly hell, if you can get away from them that is.

      Like

  2. Anonyman says:

    “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”

    What a load of crap. The truth is words hurt more than sticks and stones. Words can break a person more completely than any physical pain. The rhyme helps kids only because words do hurt.

    Like

  3. People who have not experienced depression do not always understand how their words effect those who have.

    Like

Comments are closed.