Trust, is a word that’s used often and by many, yet we all have different views on what it means.
When we are children, we trust our parents and other adults especially those in authority, somewhat blindly, but we have no bench mark in which to make informed descion and also come to the realisation that adults have flaws, but we don’t quite realise what that means or the impact it can have on your life.
As we grow into young adults our versions of trust change quite dramatically, we don’t all possess the emotional intelligence on when to hold back or to trust our instincts, plus throw boyfriends/girlfriends into the pot.
This is so confusing as people want you to trust them, be it a relationship/money/ or just turning up on time, our deal breakers are indivudual, some only ever give one chance others give many, but often the choice is not in your hands in that I mean you have the final descion on how you resolve it.
So many perspectives and the minefield of what, or who you find trustworthy, can make you distrustful, if that makes sense.
I feel that transparency is the key, but it’s difficult to give your trust to another, and even harder when you lose trust in yourself.
Going through a breakdown, I no longer trusted my own judgement, depression seemed to rob me of instinct, and the ability to perform the most basic tasks, it also took from me, the skill of reason, and not even able to trust my own mind, but it did allow me to trust the darkness and my fears and insecurities.
Sometimes I think this is another reason not to seek help, and again it keeps this terrible illness underground, it needs your distrust to help keep it a living breathing thing dwelling in our minds.
Yet again brings another point when in recovery is learning to trust in yourself and see that light at the end if the very long tunnel it takes considerable time but you can learn to trust others as well.