The title is a little tongue in cheek, but the question is serious.
Now that I have reconnected with the world I seem to have lost the ability to make a romantic connection.
In former times I didn’t have problems getting dates, or at least relating to men, always having more male friends than female, I’m suddenly shy or fearful.
In the run up to my breakdown it’d been a long time since I’d had a meaningful relationship, and to be frank I think I drove one or two away with my sometimes erratic behavior.
I have one friend in particular, we are close, best friends in fact and at times our friendship becomes very intense and could easily fall into a relationship of sorts, though this would be super destructive, and we would lose the friendship which means a lot to me.
We met through my dark days, he’s not one if the circle having moved here two years ago but we clicked and what I appreciated he accepted me without judgement and lent an ear and support when I needed it.
The fact still remains that I feel ready to step back into the world of dating, but scared because I’m different, and my newly hard fought for esteem and confidence is guarded like a new born and I wonder if I can let someone share in that.
As you can see I’m procrastinating, it’s not that I need a man to complete me, but I want to enhance my life with someone, if that makes any sense at all.
That’s the thing when you shut down emotionally and physically, and start ti recover, you think that everything recovers too, I guess more work is needed and I’m hopeful.