Often I hear and read the phrase “I just want to be happy”, it’s one I’ve been saying for years, actually “I just want to” with a different ending, in most of our daily lives.
When searching through the archives of my mind, it’s hard to find those times when I was just happy without wanting more.
When is just being happy going to be enough, we find ways in which to “just live with it” a kind of hazy acceptance of what will be will be.
For me I want more, after being stuck in a hellish cocoon for the past two years and now in recovery, yes the future is brighter, and I’ve to let go of many things to aid my healing, I still can’t say I’m happy.
Don’t get me wrong I appreciate that I’ve rebuilt myself from the inside out and have had to retrain myself to be part of the living society, and to feel the everyday emotions that were lost to me for so long.
I just want to leap and click my heels together and leap for joy, I know that day will come along, it’s the last piece of the jigsaw, then I’ll know I’m a survivor….then watch me soar.