Amazing isn’t it where we can find reserves of strength, for the last two weeks I’ve been under pressure to the point that I just wanted to runaway and retreat into my rabbit hole until it was all over.
I hate the storm when it comes sometimes I can see the signs other times I wake up and there it is a huge black cloud heading my way and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
That’s where strength comes in, you can fight or flee, though that’s a never ending battle in itself, I tell you depression is not for sissies, but during the last weeks I’ve managed to stave of the attack and return to what is now normal for me, well at least I’m not crying holed up in my flat incommunicado.
I had quite a vivid dream about this, that within me lives superheros that come to my rescue in times of trouble perhaps it’s in the gathering storm that I send my signal for help like a battle cry, and my former selves appear as a shield to ward of the dark destructive aura the envelopes me.
My superheros always seem to wear the most vibrant reds, I think to remind me of when I myself shone brightly, the colour is fearless, commanding, but soothing at the same time, their warrior like presence serves to remind me, that I will not fully succumb to the debilitating depression of several years ago, and in my mind the negativity will never rent that space for free, it has to fight me for it.
I’m not entirely out of the woods but there is always hope isn’t that what Pandora found when she opened that box, hope is my watchword, my guide to an emotionally healthy me, and I’m determined to be in that place, whenever that is.