I received an e-mail from an ex today, it surprised me as it had been about eight years since we last talked.
After the “hi’s and how are you’s” it got me thinking about how people never really change, and this was the perfect example.
We were together for seven years, both working at the same job and mostly together which is not easy when your living together too, doesn’t leave much room for “how was your day” and I was his boss, which at times was fraught with difficulties as he often felt he should be treated differently.
But being the boss never seemed to end all the important decisions were left to me, don’t get me wrong we talked about everything but that actual nuts and bolts of what we were going to do always fell at my feet.
To be honest it was draining as I had two full-time jobs, the paid one and the unpaid one, and over time it just became easier for me to do both, but the resentment had started to bubble to the surface.
The upshot the relationship deteriorated and we split up and we went our separate ways or so I thought I had moved and he a few weeks later turned up needing a place to stay, so I let him and the ensuing conversation about why he had to leave his new digs was that he didn’t like that was it and it was my fault that he didn’t have a nice place to stay.
Stunned, how could this be my fault, his reply was that I made all the decisions and now he found it difficult to cope, I reminded him w always discussed everything he didn’t want to be part of the process that actually decided anything and that he was a grown man he could have said no at anytime but chose not to.
He argued that he was entitled to a better standard of living that he had, yep entitled, I remember sitting there thinking who is this person, I asked him to leave the next day and I was going to be moving onto a new job and place, his parting shot was “what about me”.
Over the years he’s married and had children but still attempts when everything goes wrong to blame me, that I made him unable to cope with life and responsibility, he’s really very toxic.
Anyway I could see that creeping into his e-mails today, and honestly forgotten he was still in my address box now deleted.
Some people really have a sense of entitlement as though you have to give over your life entirely to their needs, whilst never lifting a finger, and what I dislike the most is they play victim I so prefer being single or at least with people who can manage their own lives and not attempt to use me as a whipping boy for all that befalls them.
Entitlement is not a privilege, it’s an excuse to behave badly.