Thinking about my last post Me and Goliath and just commenting back and forth with ThelastsongIHeard (thanks for the inspiration for this post) we have both blogged about our experiences with bullies and the effects that can have long after.
We have talked about forgiveness and really you never forget something like that, but I suppose like with most things you learn to live with it.
For me it’s not actually about forgiveness it’s about not letting them rent space in my mind, I tackled my bully and not many get the opportunity to do that, so there is never a real reason for closure.
I’m not saying I got closure then but inside there was the satisfaction that she got just a touch of what I’d endured for years at her hands, and the realisation from her that she could be a victim of her own design, afterall she helped bring about my aggression.
It also reminds me of one of my favourite Proverbs from Confucius.
Man who seeks revenge should dig two graves
Which is true, but deep in our hearts revenge might be your only recourse, yes it’s said the best revenge is to live well..well phooey life is not like that, however as I commented a few minutes ago my tormentor has not had a good life and really her punishment is to live with her personality for the rest of her days and for that I can feel pity, because even after thirty years she still hasn’t learned a thing.
So even though there are times when the memories are raw, I have the knowledge that I survived and will when ever possible fight against the epidemic that is bullying.