Strong Independent Women A Myth

More pondering on the dating conundrum and my friends still keep insisting that I hook up.

One of the things I found when on a dating site is that men declared they liked “strong independent women” I’ve never been sure what that means exactly, I see many women say the same thing too, is it a special honour that’s bestowed on us by us to mean what exactly.

I like to think I can hold my on and debate in a reasoned manner, even if very passionate about a topic as I’ve matured I came to realise shouting loudest doesn’t make me right, I like to think that it was my youth that used to get me into trouble (raised eyebrow).

Back to dating, yes the strong independent type,  a few men found that attractive on the first couple of dates that all seemed tickety boo until they realised that it was normal and I wasn’t playing a dating game (silly me) I was under the impression I was to be myself.

The other thing  I found was to be in a relationship meant togetherness, which I’m all for, but not all the time I like to have the freedom to do the things I want, we all have our own interests and you can enjoy and participate in theirs, however I like the separateness and then coming together as it adds dimension to your relationship.

So is wanting freedom within a relationship wrong, isn’t this the spectre of the “strong independent woman” rearing her head that was at one time so attractive but now annoying and not fulfilling the duties as partner.

I know I sound super cynical, but at this stage in my life I don’t feel that I should pretend or play along to keep the peace , however but participate enough to share the experience.

So to the would be daters and my friends I can’t change who I am nor do I want to and if I can accept you warts please give me the same courtesy.

Perhaps I’m a” strong independent woman” after all, or just a women trying to make sense of the world around her before she falls down the rabbit hole again.


About therabbitholez

I returned to this blog in September 2014, after a 2 year absence, due to depressive illness and homelessness. This journey charts the rocky road to recovery and my feelings about it, and getting a home together after losing everything, this too has been a rocky rocky, both things connected on many levels, but separate at the same time. If you want to know more please read my blog:) and comment on any blog you like I enjoy the interaction, and belong to a great community on here. Thanks for reading.:)
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7 Responses to Strong Independent Women A Myth

  1. Be yourself please! Don’t let others change you, that’s the problem with the dating scene today. As far as Strong Independent women goes, I think of a woman who can hold her own but is not afraid of being there for her man. A woman who knows what she needs an don’t give into her wants.


    • The datin scene has changed and not necessarily for the better but I’ll prevail form time to time and have no intentions of changing myself.

      Not sure that makes me strong and independent, but certainly i know what I don’t want.
      Thanks for your comment.


      • It is actually pretty bad now days to be dating. From both sides from what I read on the blogs. I think you are strong if you hold true to yourself. Np thank you for taking the time to share.


  2. emma says:

    Be yourself; it’s something so few people get right.


  3. Good for you 🙂

    I honestly think that most men only write that they like “strong, independent women” because they think that’ll get them more dates. I would never write that. I don’t want anyone clinging on to me either… I’d just like someone in-between and balanced LOL

    Someone who’s independent but who likes to do things together too… or do I want to have my cake and eat it too? LOL


    • Nowt wron with havin your cake and eatin it too, but datin is now such a minefield that people literally put anythin that they think will make them dateable.

      Blance is the key.


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