My post today in part was inspired by LazyLauraMaisey who is participating in the A-Z daily posting challenge, I recommend you read her blog also.
Anyway in her post she is on letter B and was discussing babies and why people think that it’s ok to interrogate those who don’t have children.
So to finally get started on my own post, I wanted to expand a little more on the subject, I’m single and don’t have children, which makes me feel I’m at an AA meeting, and have to go through the twelve steps to explain why.
The point is I don’t have to explain, and so as not to sound militant in my singledom, I do belive in marriage and family for those, who want them, and it wouldn’t occur to me to question why they chose their lifestyle.
However over the years I’ve been asked he most intrusive questions as to why I remain single, and even those that know me in their coupledom smugness, know I’ve been in several longterm relationships which obviously didn’t commute to a lifetime partnership.
It’s even been put to me that “it’s better than being alone” really! you can be just as lonely in a relationship in fact that’s even worse to face indifference on a daily basis, which I’m happy to say is not for me
I’ve been called selfish for not having children, well thankfully I grew with the idea that I didn’t need children to make my lie complete, it’s even been suggested that if I have children I’ll have them to keep me company in my old age, that is no life for a child, and even when I did think about it and thought about how much my life would change I decided against, so if that makes me selfish, so be it.
The point I’m trying to make having a life partner or children doesn’t necessarily make you a whole person, I believe you have to do that yourself, it can enhance your life if that’s what you want, but not everybody wants the same, and that society even in 2012 should still judge a woman by her ability to procreate to somehow fit in is a ludicrous proposition, far too many women feel pressured to marry and have children and find themselves completely overwhelmed and not to mention the loss of identity, as you become somebody’s wife or mother.
As a single i can’t say my life is richer, but it suits me, I have friends who count as well as family, interests, I’m open to all possibilities, but I do wish others wouldn’t feel the need to try to make me feel guilty for the choices I make, as I said in the beginning I wouldn’t do it to them, and even if I didn’t agree I keep my mouth shut and be a sounding board if needed, there’s always plenty of wine and chocolate here..lol.
As I read once if you want company buy a pet, well I have two cats who allow me to be their housekeeper and for now I’m happy with that.