I Have had an ongoing battle with my body ever since I can remember, I don’t know what triggered it, because at home it wasn’t something that was discussed.
Meal times in our house were normal affairs we ate what we were given , however all thing dietary were much simpler, you had three meals per day, with a snack in between and in our house it was usually fruit sweets/candy were for the weekends.
It never really occurred to me that we were all different until I went to secondary school/high school, and after PE we had to use the showers, it then became apparent that we were indeed different.
I developed quite early, and found myself self conscious when naked with other girls, weight not being the guiding factor then being slim, but with breasts and being tall amongst some of my peers I stood out, and at that age individuality is just wasn’t done.
As time went on and my body developed so did my need to hide as my friends were slow in catching up and fancied people staring at me, so I covered up, but always wanted to wear the daintier clothes and shoes, but alas that was not to be, the other horror was that boys didn’t seem as interested in me as they were my friends, they only wanted to point out that I was busty .
Fast forward into my twenties when I did embrace my curves and really liked them too, why I had my own money and could dress better according to my shape and no longer in the clutches of my mother’s fashion sense.
There you have it I was slim but had killer curves, then the Super model was born, so ok I was tall but not thin, so again I was out of the loop, then the whole idea of being thin seemed to completely take over the impossible images now presented to us as to how women should look, thin was the de rigour, ironically to be thin also meant happiness, so the diets started and yes I did lose weight and was slimmer but never thin.
I can’t believe during this period for the first time in my life I was hungry isn’t that weird, I’d always loved my food and ate vegetables/salads but couldn’t maintain it so back to regular eating, but when that happened the weight piled on, so there you have it yo-yo dieting until well into my thirties.
I finally stopped dieting went back to just eating regular meals without counting calories or depriving myself of the foods I like and rapidly came to the conclusion there was nothing wrong with me in the first place, and wasted quite a bit of my time stressing over it.
So I’m not super slim but not over weight either and I’ve been happy with that for over ten years, but do watch with dismay at how the media portray how women should be and even more terrible at how many buy into that and develop unhealthy attitudes to diet and how they look, well I say unhealthy it’s an obsession and all linked to your self-esteem.
Embrace your body it’s the only one you have, and as I always say “thank god for lycra”