When did friendships become so difficult to maintain, it appears to me that everyone has become so high maintenance, I can barely keep up with the new rules.
There was a time when your friends were just that, you supported each other in the good and the bad times, all seemingly quite simple, then I noticed the goal posts moved, quite dramatically in some cases, and I’ve still to workout why.
I feel that the instancy of the world we live in requires us to also treat our relationships in this way too, we no longer hope for but expect and demand that we give attention to whatever crisis is happening at that moment, and not to do so incurs the wrath of the other person in the equation.
As now with people being so transitional, it’s not always easy to offer an ear in person we rely on e-mail/telephone, which can have it’s difficulties as you can relate to body language or tone in the right context, which can lead to misunderstandings, however if your longtime friends there should be no such difficulty.
I consider myself to be a good friend however I’m not interested in enabling another to take a path that is clearly not for the best, to validate actions that are clearly wrong or at the very least not well thought out.
for that you can be unfriended in a heartbeat, the justification never really made clear by them but the bottom line is that you didn’t agree, I feel that to agree with all my friends decisions is foolhardy, they of course can do as they please but if that means that I have to play along to continue being their friend well then no thank you very much.
I can’t believe I used to play that game, and got burned so many times, it was just wasn’t funny, and whenever I tried to discuss the issue I was fobbed off, and again the mantra was cited “if you were really my friend” it got tired and so did I, now I try to base friendships on the commonalities but make it clear that yes I’m your friend but that also means that there will be times when I will disagree sometimes vehemently.
I’m happy to be honest but expect the courtesy to extend in my direction too, if that doesn’t work for you then we’ll be aquaintences, as in that sphere I don’t have to compromise the friendship.